


Changing My Mind

by aprylynn



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Romance, Speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-15 23:18:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2247117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aprylynn/pseuds/aprylynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place after Deep Trouble (5x24/6x01). Kensi and Deeks are still unsure of where they stand. Conversations with friends, old and new, could help make things clearer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sam and Deeks

**Author's Note:**

> A very big thank you to yoursmilelaugheverything and hermionesmydawg for your help and support :)

"It's good to have you back safe and sound, Sam."

"Thanks. I wasn't sure if that'd be the case. But thanks to you guys, we live to fight another day."

Deeks ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, but sometimes it would be nice if we didn't have to fight."

"We've been through a lot, especially the last year."

Sam also needed rescuing just over one year ago, but instead of Callen, Deeks was with him. It still pained both of them to remember what Sidorov had done. However awful the experience was, it forever changed them and how they viewed each other. Their relationship, which was once filled with tension and hostility now had a foundation of unwavering respect. _  
_

"You're not kidding. Maybe a vacation would be nice. A very long vacation. One where I could go surfing and not be called into work."

"Or where there's no submarines filled with explosives to get trapped in."

Deeks face grew sober. "No nuclear weapons to track down."

"No rescue missions to Afghanistan."

"Yes to all of the above."

"So, will Kensi be joining you on this surfing vacation?" Sam was trying to suppress a smile and doing a very bad job.

"Why... why would you ask that?"

"I don't know. I guess I just assumed that things were different between you two now."

Deeks' first impulse was to deny this, but he knew that would be pointless. Things have been different between him and Kensi. Everyone could see it.

"Different is one way of putting it. Confusing would be another. So would frustrating."

Sam chuckled and shook his head.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing. It's just that you remind me of someone I knew a long time ago."

"Who..."

"It's not important. So why is it so confusing?"

"Well, I guess, I don't really know where we stand. We've been partners for a long time. And it's only natural that we would get close. You put your lives in each others hands and you watch out for each other and you become... something that I just don't know what it is."

"Have you tried talking to her about it?"

"Yes. I mean, I think so. We've definitely talked, but I'm not so sure anymore if it actually made things clearer."

"Answer this for me, Deeks. Are things so confusing between you and Kensi because your relationship is just too complicated to figure out? Or it is because you're too afraid to actually define it?"

Deeks opened his mouth to answer but couldn't seem to find his voice. Sam was the first person to put a name to what had been plaguing him regarding Kensi. Fear.

"Wow. You're speechless. I think that's a first."

"Um... you think I'm afraid?"

"Are you?"

Deeks took in a deep breath and let it out. There was no sense in hiding it. "Yes, I am."

"Good."

"Good? How can you say that's good?"

"Because I think there'd something wrong with you if you weren't."

"You know, here is this person who just kind of appeared into my life and I was assigned to be her partner. At first, she was difficult and rigid and intense and frustrating. Everything was a struggle with her. And then somewhere, somehow she became the most important person in my life. I no longer worked with her and watched her back and protected her because it was my job. Now I do it because I can't imagine my life without her."

"So you're afraid of losing her? You're afraid of her dying and you being left without her?"

"Yes. Absolutely yes. But it's more than that too."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm afraid of losing who I am. I... I don't know if I can explain it."

"Deeks, please try. I probably understand more than you think."

"Sam... you and I... what they did to us last year... that was torture. That was by far the worst thing I've ever been through. Those people that did that to us... they were monsters. I have no idea how we survived that, but we did. Since then, every interrogation I've been a part of, that has been on my mind. No matter how desperate for information we might be, that is a line I can never cross. I've been on the receiving end of that and it was almost my undoing."

Deeks took a moment and Sam quietly waited for him to gather his thoughts.

"When we were in Afghanistan, I was trying to get information on Kensi's whereabouts. Then I saw that photo you guys found that made it look like she was dead."

"Wait. You saw that photo when we were over there?"

"Hetty sent it to me."

Sam took a deep breath, obviously upset. "She shouldn't have done that."

"I told her to."

"She still shouldn't have done that. You were in no position to handle seeing that picture."

"Yeah, you're probably right, considering what I did next. I was so close to just shooting that man in the chest. I wanted to see him suffer just like Kensi was suffering. I covered his head with a cloth and I... I tortured him, Sam."

Deeks ran his hands across his face, trying to compose himself.

"Sam, I was tortured for information. I know exactly what that feels like. I know exactly how terrifying that is. How it makes you feel like less of a human being. And I did it to someone else. I was so caught up in thinking that Kensi might be dead, that I completely lost sight of everything that's important to me. So the answer is yes. I am afraid, not just of losing her, but also of losing who I am. I'm afraid of becoming a monster. I'm afraid of becoming someone who Kensi wouldn't want to be with."

There was silence between them. Sam wanted to give Deeks time to say anything that might be on his mind, but it seemed like that was no more for now.

"Wow. Have you been carrying this around by yourself this whole time?"

Deeks nodded. "You're the first person I've told. Honestly, I haven't even admitted it to myself."

"I have to say that I completely understand everything you said. I've been in that situation more times than I'd like to remember."

"With Michelle?"

"Exactly. I know exactly what that fear is and how it feels and how easy it could be to let it overtake you. You've seen it yourself. I almost drowned Agent Snyder in front of the whole team and several other CIA agents. All because I let my emotions and fears get the better of me. And also when Sidorov had us. Deeks, from where I was sitting, I could see everything they did to you. I heard every scream. And yet, when we were finally free to get out of there, I didn't ask if you were alright. I didn't say I was sorry for all they did to you. I immediately asked if you gave up Michelle. I was so focused on her, I forgot about all you went through. Afterwards I realized what I had done. It was so easy for me to forget all that you had just suffered."

"She's your wife. I understood."

"Deeks, I have to admit something to you. Something I'm not proud of. Do you know what I would have done to you if you had given Michelle up to Sidorov?"

"No."

"Neither do I. And that terrifies me. What they did to you... how many people would have been able to endure that? What are the chances that anyone would have caved under that kind of pressure? When I think about it, I have to admit that I could not have blamed you if you did cave. But if you had, I don't know if I could have seen it objectively. I'm afraid of what I would have done to you, how I would have treated you. These are the things I think about and I worry about."

Deeks could feel a weight lifting off his mind. He seriously wondered why he didn't come to Sam sooner. "So what's the answer? There's a person in your life who means more to you than anything else. More than your own life. More than the life of anyone else who seems to be standing in your way. What do you do? How do you stop from becoming that monster?"

"I don't think there's ever a guarantee that you won't. I've done things I'm not proud of because of fear of losing her. I constantly have to keep myself in check and ask myself if I'm doing the right thing."

"Would it be best to just not get involved at all? To just keep things professional?"

"It might, if that were possible. But Michelle became important to me regardless of how I tried to control my feelings for her. Even if we never pursued a relationship, even if we remained completely professional, it didn't change the fact that just working with her, just being around her changed me. Even if we remained completely professional, I still would have given my life for her in a heartbeat. And I'd be willing to do whatever it took to keep her safe. Even if that meant crossing a line that I normally wouldn't have crossed."

"This isn't making me feel any better."

"Hear me out, Deeks. Let me ask you this. When you were in Afghanistan in that man's house, you said you crossed a line. What made you stop?

"Because it was wrong. Everything about it felt wrong."

"What was going through your mind?"

"I remembered being tied to that chair. I thought that if this was what I had to do to get what I wanted... if this was the way I was going to get Kensi back... how could she look me in the eye after what I did? How could I ever look at her and not see that man I was torturing?"

"I have to admit that if I were in your position and it was Michelle's picture we found... Even after all I've been through, I can't say I would have done anything different than you did. In fact, I can't say that I would have stopped when you did."

"So what do we do?"

"Deeks, what I'm trying to say is that I don't have all the answers. This is something that I have struggled with and will struggle with for the rest of my life. But, my life is better because Michelle is in it. Every moment when I was afraid I might lose her, every time when I could feel myself lose control, every struggle we've been through, it's been worth it because I get to share my life with her. How do I stop from becoming that monster? I may not know all the answers, but what I do know is that she helps remind me of who I am. She's the reason I keep fighting to stay true to myself and the reason I keep fighting to do the right thing."

"So she's the cause of your fear and also the cure."

"Wow, that was pretty deep."

"What can I say? I'm a pretty deep guy."

"You need to ask yourself if it's too late for you. If Kensi is already the most important person in your life, then there is no going back. You need to ask yourself if she's worth it."

Deeks didn't need to say anything out loud. Sam already knew his answer.


	2. Talia and Kensi

"Talia, wait a minute." Kensi caught up to the DEA agent before she reached the door of OSP.

"Hey, what's up, partner?"

Kensi laughed. "Do you call everyone partner?"

"Well, not really. Since I don't normally work with one, I guess I say it whenever I get the chance."

"Um, okay... I just wanted to thank you for your help. There's no way we would have gotten Sam and Callen back without you."

"It was my pleasure." Talia smiled. "I'm really glad you have your team back together."

They had almost lost Sam and Callen. Now everyone was safe and sound, but Kensi had trouble keeping worst-case scenarios from popping up in her mind. She smiled, hoping to mask the anxiousness that she couldn't seem to shake.

"I usually prefer to work alone, but the times that I've teamed up with you guys, it makes me almost want to reconsider." Talia shrugged her shoulders. "Almost."

"I don't know how you do it. I certainly couldn't do this job on my own."

"Yeah, working with a team does have it's advantages. I'll give you that."

"Listen, I... um..." Kensi was nervous, but she knew she had to set something straight. "I also wanted to apologize for how I acted earlier... in the boat shed. It was really unprofessional. Deeks was getting on my nerves and I guess I let it get to me. I'm really... just so embarrassed."

"That's okay. I'm sorry, too. I wasn't exactly on my best behavior either. You shouldn't worry about it though. I get it."

"Thanks. Um... but what do you mean by that? That you get it?"

"Look, as you said, he was getting on your nerves. The tension between you two was pretty obvious. Also, it just seemed to me that you didn't like the idea of anyone else working with him while you were gone."

"I hope you don't think that I was... jealous or anything. Because I wasn't. That wasn't it at all." Even as Kensi said the words, she knew she sounded ridiculous and unconvincing. The truth? She was jealous. Very jealous. But it wasn't just because Talia was beautiful. She didn't like hearing that Nate had been partnered with him either. Or Nell. The thought that he had to count on someone other than her just felt so wrong.

(Okay, so the fact that Talia was beautiful didn't help. It definitely bothered her a lot more than she wanted it to.)

"He's important to you. And you're important to him. I get that it was difficult being away from each other. I know he was definitely miserable."

"Really?" Kensi decided to drop the fact that Talia didn't address the question of her jealousy. "You could tell that after one day with him?"

"He seemed to be on edge for much of the day. He even threw a fit when I asked him for the WiFi password in the boat shed."

"Wow. Yeah, that doesn't sound like him at all."

"To be fair, neither of us were really happy about being teamed up. Your boss Hetty gave me a not-so subtle threat in case I didn't agree to play nice. Your partner was kind enough to push me out the door before I ended my career with my big mouth."

"Yeah, you have to watch out for her. Hetty is... Hetty. You have to know what you're dealing with. But still, after all these years with her, I don't even know what I'm dealing with sometimes."

"Well, I'm glad she put her foot down. We ended up solving both our cases. He's really good at what he does. I kept forgetting that he's not actually a federal agent. He fits right in with NCIS. And he would also make a good DEA agent."

"You trying to steal my partner again?" Kensi teased. She smiled, hoping the sick feeling in her stomach after that last comment would just go away.

"No, I still think it's best to not have a partner. Especially one like Deeks."

"Why? What's wrong with him?"

"Oh, nothing. Deeks is a good guy and if I was partnered with him... to be honest, I don't think I could keep it completely professional." Talia's face was serious and just a little bit sad. "Which is probably why it's best that I work alone. Makes things less complicated."

"You're right. It does make things less complicated, but I don't know if that means it's better."

"For me, it does. I've done complicated. I was happy with complicated. And then complicated went away and I was alone. And I've been that way ever since."

"You know, I've lost people too. My dad was killed when I was 15. My fiancé left me. The partner I had before Deeks was killed in the line of duty. I know what it's like to have someone taken from you. Or what it's like to have them leave. And for a long time, I was exactly like you. Alone. And I thought it was the best thing for me."

"You sound like you're not so convinced of that right now."

"Maybe I'm not. You can miss out on a lot if you're always alone."

"Like how he gets on your nerves?" Talia unsuccessfully tried to hide a smile.

This conversation was no longer as vague was Kensi wanted it to be. She knew Talia saw right through the two of them from the beginning. What was the point in hiding it anymore?

Kensi smiled. "Like you said, he's a good guy. And they're hard to come by. Especially one like him."

"Yes, that they are."

There was a moment of awkward silence between the two women, though Kensi was glad that much of the hostility was gone.

"Well, I should probably get going. It was really nice meeting you, Kensi. And I hope we can work together again sometime."

"Yes, this was nice. You have no idea how much I liked not being the only woman. Being around these guys can be pretty tiring. If I never have to listen to another conversation about diarrhea, I'll be so happy."

Talia laughed. "Some boys just never grow up, do they?"

"I think that might be all boys."

Talia extended her hand and Kensi shook it. "Take care of yourself. And your partner."

"I will."

* * *

 

Before entering the bull pen, Kensi stopped in the hallway and leaned against the wall. She thought about the last few minutes, about the last few days, about the last few months.

She had been pretty ashamed of herself for the way she acted when she first met Talia. She's a federal agent who specializes in working undercover. It's her job to hide who she is and what she's feeling. But when it comes to Deeks... why is it so difficult to control her anger and frustration and jealousy?

Of course, Deeks had worked with other people while she was gone. That's only to be expected. But she didn't expect Talia. She was beautiful. Gorgeous even. And all Kensi could picture was Deeks being alone with her.

She had blamed her behavior on him, because he was getting on her nerves. But that wasn't it. Not really. Sure, she was irritated, but it wasn't because of him.

It was because of them.

Complicated. It really was the best word to describe them. For so long she had denied feelings that would surface every once in a while. When he said he'd try to take things more seriously. When he was shot. When he was kissing another woman in the interrogation room. When she thought he had been fired. When they were pretending to be married. When she thought about losing him. When she realized he had been lying to her for months. When he kissed her. When he said he wanted to be at his place with her. When he told her he was glad she was alive.

Somewhere, somehow, she stopped being able to deny it. She stopped being able to argue this case with herself, that these feelings were a bad idea, that they were nothing more than passing thoughts, that being his partner was enough.

Complicated was right. She didn't even know what was going on with them. A few weeks ago, they had finally talked about their thing. Well, sort of. There was definitely talking involved, but what was actually said? He gave back her knife, but what did that actually mean? She cut open the box for him and walked away, but neither of them brought it up again.

There was obviously something lost in translation here. She still didn't know where they stood. When he pushed her knife across his desk, she felt like a door had been slammed in her face. It felt like he was saying no to their thing. He still wanted to be partners. He still wanted to be in her life, but that seemed like all he wanted. If this was true, if this was really how he felt, then maybe that was better than nothing. Having him as just her partner was better than not having him at all.

She was still not fully convinced that was what he meant, but she was too afraid to ask him. Because what if she was right? Seeing him give her knife back was disappointing. If she actually had to hear him say that he wanted nothing more than their partnership... that would be devastating.

She had once asked him to be patient with her. And then he seemed like the one who needed patience. She was glad to do that for him. After all he had done for her, after all they had been through together, she was more than happy to do that for him. But she didn't know how much longer she could go on like this, not knowing where they really stood. Completely losing all sense of herself just because another woman hugged him. Punching him just because he said she was beautiful.

Maybe it was time to try something different. Instead of telling him that he's her frozen lake, she could just tell him she wants him more than anything else in the world. Instead of giving him a mysterious box as a gift, she could tell him exactly what he means to her.

What if she allowed herself to fully experience these feelings rather than trying to quickly dismiss them? (At this rate, it would be impossible anyway. They were already becoming more and more difficult to dismiss.)

What if she admitted that the one night they spent together was exactly what she wanted for the rest of her life? What if she admitted that taking a step back from that was driving her crazy?

Talia was definitely right about one thing. Being without a partner was less complicated.

But when she thought about his smile, the way he drives her crazy, the way he looks out for her, right now she knows without a doubt that she would choose complicated every single time.

And it was time to do something about it.


	3. Kensi and Deeks

Kensi was sitting with Deeks on his couch. The TV was on and both were looking in its direction, but neither one was really paying much attention.

Her arm started out resting on the back of the couch behind him. Slowly her fingers made their way to his neck. Tentatively at first, she brush against his skin. Now feeling much bolder, she was enjoying the way his hair felt between fingers as she gently ran her nails across his scalp. She knew by the way he kept leaning back into her touch that he liked it too.

"You're enjoying that?"

"Uh huh... I have to say..." He closed his eyes and moaned softly. "... I certainly like it more than being punched."

They both chuckled, but Kensi felt bitterness behind his words. Nervousness settled in her stomach. Something was bothering him more than he wanted to let on, but he wasn't offering anymore of an explanation. She could feel herself getting frustrated with him, but she tried to stop herself. Whenever she got mad at him for not saying what he meant, the results were at times exhilarating, but better communication was never a part of it.

What if she just came out and asked him what was wrong? What if he said it was nothing? What if he didn't want to talk about it? What if she didn't like what he had to say?

The thing was that Kensi already knew the answers to these questions. There was definitely something more behind his words. She also knew that if she truly wanted something more with him, if their partnership was not enough for her, then she had to break out of her comfort zone and out of their cycle of terrible communication.

"You don't like it when I do that to you."

He shrugged. "Not so much."

"I won't do it again."

He rolled his eyes. "We'll see about that the next time I get on your nerves for who knows what reason."

"Deeks." Kensi waited for him to look in her direction and meet her gaze. She was trying to show him exactly how serious she was. "I mean it. It won't happen again."

His expression softened and he gave her a genuine smile. "This is kind of weird. Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Do I need a reason?"

"No, I guess not. Maybe I'm just not used to it."

"Well, maybe that should change."

The butterflies in her stomach had picked up their pace. This was unchartered territory for them. But despite not really knowing what the hell she was doing, she had to press on. She reached for the remote and turned off the TV.

"Um... I was thinking about us and I'm kind of confused about something."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I know we talked before, but I'm still not sure where you and I really are."

Deeks looked down at his hands. Kensi gave him time to respond. When he didn't, she continued. "Because to me, it felt... it felt like you were saying 'no' to us. That you wanted to take a step back."

Deeks took in a deep breath and licked his lips. "Um... yeah, that was kind of what I was saying."

Kensi felt her heart drop. This was exactly what she was afraid of hearing. This was exactly why she avoided talking to him about this for weeks. But she'd be damned if she was going to let this be the end of it.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"Really?" His brow was furrowed.

"Yeah, I mean, we both obviously enjoyed where our thing has taken us. I don't see why we have to stop or put it on hold."

"So, let me see if I got this right." Deeks turned towards her. "Are you saying that because we had sex once and it was great..."

"More than great, actually." Kensi smiled and blushed at the memory.

"Yes. Okay. Right. More than great. Spectacular even. Are you saying that naturally means that we should just keep having sex?"

"Sounds about right to me."

"With that logic, I should just keep having sex with all the women I've been with before."

Kensi shuffled a little closer to him. "I don't really want to share you with anyone else..." She smiled and brought her hand up to his face, savoring the feeling of his scruff on her fingers. "... even though I'm sure that would make those two other women very happy."

"How dare you." He smiled. "There's been at least three others."

She moved even closer to him, leaving a small space between her mouth and his. "Look... I know we had some things we had to figure out... and it seems like you still might be struggling with something. But I know what I want and I don't know how much longer I can go without saying it."

He spoke softly. "What do you want?"

"You."

She closed the distance between them and kissed him softly. It was gentle and brief, but Kensi was hit with the realization that for the first time in months, she finally felt like she was home.

"I've missed this." She slowly moved along his jaw, leaving a trail of kisses to his ear. She whispered against his skin, causing him to shiver. "I've missed the way this feels."

"Um... I seem to remember you saying that you don't like facial hair."

"Well, you seem to be changing my mind." She pulled back to look him in his perfect blue eyes. "I'm sorry if this is too much for you right now. I want to give you the time you need, but it's getting more and more difficult for me to wait, especially when I don't want to wait anymore."

He moved to stand up and her heart sank again. She worried that she pushed too far and with too much. She was convinced he was about to shut her down. The image of him sliding her knife back to her flashed across her mind.

She was about to say something. She had to say something, backtrack or explain, she had no idea what. Then she noticed that he was pacing and running his fingers through his hair. If he was shutting her down, he would have looked sad like he did before. But he didn't look sad. He was nervous. Very nervous.

"Kensi..."

She stood up and placed her hands on his shoulders, stilling his agitated movements. He looked at her and smiled. His heated gaze made her forget to breathe for a few seconds. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. He rested his forehead on hers as he gently traced a line up and down her spine.

"I want you, too. So much that it scares me. I was afraid of what lengths I'd go to, what lines I would cross. I was afraid of you becoming the most important person in my life and that I'd lose who I am or lose perspective on what's right and what's wrong and then hurt you in the process. I don't know if I'm making any sense right now, but the point is I was... I am afraid."

"Deeks..."

He leaned back and raised a hand to her face. "I thought if we took a step back, that it would help make things clearer. That maybe we could go back to when things were simpler."

"When have things ever been simple between us?"

"Oh, touché."

"So forget about simple. You and I... we don't do simple. But what about clearer? Are things... clearer?"

Time seemed to stop as he held her gaze. As it always seemed with them, he couldn't just answer her with words. He answered her with a kiss. Before today, their kisses had been much different. (Mostly, but not exclusively, involved getting the other to shut up.) During their night together, they had been desperate and messy, fueled by years of frustration and heat. This time, his kiss was slow and sweet and deliberate. He was showing her just what she meant to him. Just how important she was. How she was a part of him now and there was no going back. As he continued to kiss her, her hands moved to his chest and gripped the material of his t-shirt. He tightened his hold around her and ran his fingers through her hair.

He slowly pulled his lips from hers, and he swore he heard a whimper of disappointment from her. He kept his face close to hers and smiled. "It seems like you're changing my mind, too."

Kensi's heart was pounding in her chest. She was thankful for his hold on her because her knees were feeling weaker. "Really?"

"Yes, but Kens, I have to say that I'm still terrified of losing you or hurting you or of screwing this up beyond repair."

"I'm scared too, but I know we can help each other through this."

"For some reason, I thought if I took a step back, then maybe I could have more control over what I feel for you. But I know now that it's too late. There's no stepping back from this. When it comes to you, I'm completely done for."

"Wow." Kensi smiled. "That was a terrible idea you had."

Deeks laughed. "Thanks. I think we both agree that I was an idiot."

"Yeah, you were."

"Yeah, but you had your moments these last couple weeks, too."

"What are you talking about?"

"You were so jealous the other day, weren't you?"

Kensi opened her mouth to defend herself, but she didn't get a chance.

"Don't even deny it. I mean, who could really blame you though? Is there anyone who can resist me?"

"You're testing me, aren't you? I promised to never punch you again and you're testing me."

Deeks shook his head and a serious look spread across his face. He spoke softly to her. "She doesn't even compare to you. She's not even in the same universe as you."

She felt heat rise in her face. "I don't know about that... she was alright."

He started laughing. "Wow, that's very interesting because it sounds to me that you sort of maybe kind of liked her. That's good news because I think she had a crush on you, too. Maybe I could set the two of you up. But only if I can tag along as well. You know, as an observer."

"No, it would never work. I think she has bigger boobs than me and I'd always be self-conscious about that."

"I have to say, if my memory serves me correctly, and I think it does, yours are pretty damn amazing and you have nothing to be self-conscious about."

"Maybe I should remind you." She stepped out of his arms and walked toward his bedroom. She looked over her shoulder and gave him a slight smile as she disappeared through the door. Suddenly, he remembered being in that restaurant with her all those months ago, saying he wanted to be at his place with her. Her response was to get up and walk away. He thought that this was probably his favorite sight in the whole world. Watching Kensi Blye walk away from him in the direction of his bedroom. He decided he better not keep her waiting.

He leaned against the door frame and saw that her shirt and bra were already on the floor. It was then that he realized that a topless Kensi Blye was actually his favorite sight in the whole world.

"You got started without me."

"You were taking too long."

"Stupid me."

She smiled coyly. "You want me to put them back on?"

"Never." He walked up to her and spent a few seconds in awe of this amazing woman.

She grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. He reached for the button of her jeans and fumbled for a moment as she kissed along his collarbone to his neck.

Once they were both rid of their jeans, they fell onto his bed. He kissed her as she ran her fingers through his hair. Then he left a trail of kisses down to her stomach. He stopped, looked up at her and smiled.

Kensi was barely able to catch her breath enough to speak. "What?"

"It's just..." He dropped another kiss on her hip.

"Just what?"

"You know I meant it before... when I said you're beautiful?"

Kensi was speechless. Partly because she was overwhelmed by his words, partly because he kept kissing her everywhere.

"Because you are. You're beautiful."

She sat up, grabbed his face and kissed him. "So are you."

"You say the sweetest things."

Kensi took a deep breath. "This is it. You and me. No matter what, we're gonna make this work, okay? No more stepping back. No more not saying what we mean. No more not moving forward because we're afraid."

He smiled. "Absolutely. That goes for both of us."

Kensi smiled and blinked back happy tears. "Now, where were we?"

"I think I was about to make up for the fact that we haven't done this in far too long."

"You better get busy. We have a lot of making up to do."

Deeks kissed her as she laid back down. "Whatever you say, Kens. Whatever you say."


End file.
